A Deal's a Deal

Warning: Spoilers for Sock Opera

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“I’m going to lose everything? I only have one more try,” Dipper cried as he grabbed his head, staring at the laptop which was counting down. The room suddenly turned grey and a familiar  voice rang out.

“Well, well, well, somebody’s looking desperate,” Bill Cipher said as he made his appearance.

“I thought I told you to leave me alone,” Dipper said angrily, glaring at the floating triangle with mistrusting eyes.

“I can help you kid, you just need to hear out my demands,” Bill said calmly, knowing Pinetree was at the end of his rope. The meatbag still didn’t trust him, but he was clearly tired and not thinking straight, it would be easy to trick him.

Dipper groaned in frustration. “What crazy thing do you want anyways? To eat my soul? To rip out my teeth? Are you going to replace my eyes with baby heads or something?”

“Yeesh kid, relax. All I want is something in this room. Like a puppet or something,” Bill said. Through those were all good ideas, he would have to remember them.

“A puppet?...What are you playing at,” Dipper questioned, narrowing his eyes.

“Everyone loves puppets, and it looks to me like you got a surplus,” Bill said, moving the hand puppets around, playing with them and putting one on Dipper.

“I...I don’t know man, Mabel worked really hard on these,” Dipper answered looking unsure.

Bill had to give Pine Tree credit, most people wouldn’t put their siblings first, especially over something as pointless as a puppet. The kid was a tool. Luckily, he knows everything that happens in Gravity Falls. “Seems to me one little puppet is a small price to pay to learn all the secrets of the universe. Besides, what’s your sister done for you lately? How many times did you sacrifice for her, huh? And when has she ever returned the favor?”

Pine Tree was looking back and forth between Shooting Star and the laptop, Bill already knowing he had won. “Tick tock kid,” Bill said putting a flaming hand out for him to shake.

“Just one puppet? Fine,” Dipper said taking Bill’s hand. “So, what puppet are you going to take anyways?” Bill pointed at the puppet on Dippers left hand. “You want this one?”

“I said I wanted a puppet or something,” Bill said in a sing song voice, “I decided to go with something, and that something is your hand!

“Ahhh! You’re going to cut off my hand,” Dipper screamed in horror, covering his hand protectively.

“Relax, I’m not going to cut it off,” Bill laughed. Once Dipper dropped his guard a bit, Bill hit his hand with a blast of magic.

Dipper screamed and fell to the ground, clenching his arm.

“Are you always this dramatic kid? You’re fine,” Bill said in an amused tone, pine tree was really adorable.~

“What,” Dipper questioned, sitting up and taking off the puppet to see his hand was still attached. Confusion was written all over his face, looking up at Bill who just hummed happily. Bill kicked the laptop a few times, making “access accepted” appear on the screen. “I don’t understand, you said you were going to take my hand.”

“No, I wanted your hand, but I’m going to wait till you’re a little older,” Bill hummed.

“I’m still confused, why did you...” Dipper stopped and took a close look at his hand, crying out when he saw golden ring on his finger. “What’s this?!”

“It’s an engagement ring, duh,” Bill said rolling his eye, “Did you want a big diamond on it to show off to the girls? Maybe make your sister jealous?”

Dipper just gaped at Bill, at a loss for words.

“Just remember, I’m going to wait till you’re older before I take your hand in marriage, but we’re still engaged so you better not cheat on me,” Bill said pointing at Dipper, “So no more flirting with Red. I’m the jealous type and I get very angry when I’m jealous,” Bill yelled, blue flames bursting everywhere, his eye turning red. But he quickly went back to normal.

“Alright then, I got more work to do so I’ll talk to you later sweetie pie,” Bill said cheerfully, blowing Dipper a kiss, even through he didn’t have lips, and disappeared.

Dipper stayed frozen in place, still gaping before passing out from shock and exhaustion.

Bill giggled gleefully, it went better than he had hoped. Granted Pine Tree was going to spend his time trying to break the deal, but at least while he was focused on that he would forget about learning Gravity Fall’s secrets for a while. But he gave Dipper what he wanted so there was no way for him to back out.

“Hey Dipper, we’re going to leave for the puppet show,” Mabel said coming up into the room to get Dipper and more of the puppets, then saw her sleeping brother curled up on the floor, “Aww, he even sleeps like a kitten.” Mabel decided to let Dipper get some rest since he hasn’t been sleeping the past view nights. She could tell him all about the show and her date with Gabe in the morning.